Let’s take a few minutes to talk about managing your emotions in your MLM business…
First off, we are all emotional creatures! Most people make emotional decisions, not logical decisions. In fact, we make emotional decisions and then we justify our decision with logic.
For example, we decide on the car that we want to buy, and then we sell ourselves on the idea. We think about ALL the reasons the car would be a great fit for us. We VALIDATE our emotional decisions with logical reasoning.
If you get nothing else out of this post, remember that people are EMOTIONAL creatures.
If people were logical beings, no one would be overweight, no one would be financially destitute, and no one would break the law!
What Are Emotions?
Our emotions are powerful. They dictate what we do or don’t do. They control how we feel and how we act.
I would define emotions as the “feelings” we have in our mind. Some of the most common emotions include fear, happiness, anger, sadness or disappointment, and surprise.
Once again, no person is 100% logical. No person is 100% emotional. Most people are more emotional than logical. And some people are more emotional than others.
Focus on What You Can Control
When it comes to network marketing, learning how to manage your emotions is vital to your long-term success. This business has so many ups and downs. You’re constantly taking two steps forward and three steps back.
The key to success is to be constant with your emotions! To do that, you must DETACH yourself from the outcome. Focus on your activities and things you can control, rather than on things you have no control over.
- You have no control if someone joins or not.
- You have no control if someone quits or becomes successful.
- You have no control if someone actually does something to grow their business or they go into the Witness Protection Program.
You can only control how you REACT to these situations.
For some people, their emotions are like a roller-coaster. They are excited one minute and depressed the next minute. Two minutes later they are fearful and a few minutes later they are elated. It’s no wonder so many people don’t survive the business long-term.
In this business you will experience lots of different emotions. You will get excited. You will get frustrated. You will be disappointed. You will get angry. You will be fearful. You will be feel anticipation. Once again, these are natural feelings that everyone experiences.
What has helped me the most to manage my emotions in my MLM Business was to detach my emotions from other people.
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The Emotional Roller Coaster
Most people in our industry let other people determine how they feel. I can’t speak for you, but that’s not how I want to live my life!
Here are some examples:
- When someone joins your team, you are excited.
- When that same person quits 12-hours later you are disappointed.
- When someone teases you for being involved in this industry you get angry.
- When someone “no shows” you for an appointment you are disappointed or angry.
- When someone makes a purchase from you, you are excited.
- When someone tells you it’s a scam you get angry.
- When people you sponsor do nothing, you get disappointed.
- When your mom cancels her auto-ship, you are sad.
I could go on and on here! Can you relate?
Advice from My Mentor
So what’s the secret to managing your emotions in your MLM business? I’ll give you some simple advice that someone taught me several years back.
My mentor at the time shared a few valuable lessons with me that helped me a lot. First off, he told me the story about a waitress at a local diner. He said this:
A waitress walks around the restaurant offering to refill people’s cups of coffee. Some say yes and she happily fills up their cup. Some say no thank you, so she moves on to the next person. The waitress doesn’t have a mental breakdown when someone tells her no. She just moves on to the next person and asks them if they want more coffee. Her job is to ask everyone the same question, regardless of their answer. This is the mindset you need to succeed in network marketing.
In other words, the waitress doesn’t take it personally when people tell her no. She realizes she’s just sorting through people and she has no emotional attachment whether they say yes or no.
Another tip my mentor taught me was to have zero expectations of EVERYONE. He said, “the only way to be disappointed is to have an expectation of someone else.” From that day forward, I hoped everyone would do well with their business, but I didn’t expect it.
Probably the most valuable lesson I learned about managing your emotions in your MLM business was when I realized that action cures fear. Basically, my mentor told me “if you wait until you feel like doing the business, you will never get around to it, but if you take action now, your fears and anxiety will go away and you will feel like doing the business.” That advice has helped me immensely.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line is my mentor taught me to be constant and steady and be in control of my own state of mind! Was this easy for me to do? HECK NO! It took me a few years to grasp this concept and apply it in my own life.
But man has it been helpful! I’m still an optimistic guy. But when it comes to this industry I expect everyone to say NO, to not join, or to do nothing if they do join. That way when they do something good, it is a breath of fresh air!
I encourage you to think the same way. I encourage you to get a grasp on your emotions. Stop letting other people’s words and actions dictate how you feel. Never give control over your mind to someone else! Ever! Take charge of your own mind.
Once you learn how manage your emotions, the business becomes fun! You don’t have major ups and downs. You don’t let other people dictate how you feel. You are steady and in control of your own mind. You are in charge!
Will it be easy? Nope. But it will bring you more happiness and peace of mind than anything else I can think of.
What do you think? What do you do to manage your emotions in your MLM Business? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you.
Chuck Holmes
20+ Year Network Marketing Professional
Top Earner & Top Recruiter
Email: mrchuckholmes@gmail.com
P.S. Learn how to grow a successful network marketing business. Secret tips, training, and practical ideas. Free training delivered by email.
I have to say that I get a kick out of Howard’s comments too. It does seem that you love to debate Howard, but that is good, because it keeps us all thinking.
My opinion is: a business is about relationships, but not necessarily friendships. Just as they say to not mix politics with religion, I believe you should never mix friendship with business. Not to say that I am not friends with some business partners, but when we talk business, the friendship is left in a corner. I remember once doing a freelance job for a long time friend of mine, and I actually did cut him a slight break on my regular price, but he had the nerve to pull friendship up when it was time to pay and said, “since we are friends, you should give it to me for 50% off.” I just looked at him as I wrote out the invoice for double the price I originally said and wrote in the comments, “Since we are friends, I figured you would want to pay me double.”
We are still friends, but we have a complete business understanding now.
Oh, and by the way Howard, I am on Chuck’s team. We have never met face to face as I live in Puerto Rico. We have Skyped and we have a great business relationship. I believe if done properly, a person can build a MLM business online, but only if done properly.
It makes sense that managing your emotions makes you not only more happier, but also more successful.
A lot of unsuccessful people in MLM or any other industry for that matter, are not ready to accept rejection and they are quick to get frustrated and disappointed.
But when you build your self confidence and start believing in yourself and in what you’re doing, you’ll stop paying attention to what people think of you.
Rejection is a normal part of life, whether it be dating, the job world or your own business.
I always try to give myself that period of rest after something occurs that allows me to process what has happened before I react to it in any way. That can be hard to do at times, but when I do it I am able to process through emotion and have a more appropriate response than whatever that initial reaction would be.
Taking time to cool off is a smart move.
People can read your emotions. Expect the best from them! You will reap what you sow. If you “expect” them to do nothing, they will. If you “expect” them to quit, they will. If they let you down and do nothing or quit, you probably didn’t take the time to “qualify” them. The interview process takes time and needs to be done face-to-face, not over the internet. The same with your follow-up, it needs to be done face-to-face, not over the internet. Proper networking requires “personal” contact, not just communicating over the internet. People won’t care how much you know until the know how much you care. That has to be done in person, not over the internet. Only a fool would go into business with somebody they had never met, face-to-face.
I’ve met many people face to face and even they quit. Look at any of the top 20 companies in our industry that still build face to face and there is still an incredibly high turnover, so I’m not sure if that is the solution. I also believe you can build great relationships online, although it does take a while. I use SKYPE every day and it works well for me. Even when you qualify people, there is still a high turnover rate. Just my two cents. As always I appreciate your comment.
Relationship! The best approach to building a solid business is building relationships. Real friends don’t quit on friends. Loyalty counts. You treat your customers like gold, or you lose them. Business partners should be treated the same way. On the internet, you can’t give somebody a big hug and make them feel like you really care about them. Face-to-face is still the best way. All relationships occasionally face conflicts. It is much easier to resolve those challenges face-to-face. On the other hand, it is much easier to “quit” when one can hid from a face-to-face encounter. That is where relationship comes into play. Businesses that experience high turn-over lack the personal touch. Not all individuals in the networking industry experience high turn-over, just those that haven’t developed their human relation skills. You have to love people more than money in order to really help them. After all, people helping people is what generates success in whatever you chose to do.
I agree that relationships are key and very important to your long-term success. Nothing will beat face to face, but that isn’t always possible when you have a national or international team. I think SKYPE is just as good as face to face myself, but that is just my opinion.
Agreed. However, face-to-face is critical IF you elect to build a business with local talent. If, on the other hand, you concentrate on building a “national” or “international” business to the exclusion of a “local” business, you may not see your efforts duplicated and the chances of your business partners quitting increase. The people you meet on line are merely acquaintances, NOT friends. There rarely is any loyalty in either direction. The only common interest is, MONEY.
Enthusiasm makes the difference when building a business. It is contagious; WHEN it is face-to-face. Sending somebody an e-mail that says, “boy am I excited” doesn’t equal saying it in person. In person, your “friend” and business partner can see and feel if you are genuinely enthusiastic. Face-to-face you can have a “real” conversation as opposed to an e-mail, SKYPE. or phone call one.
Face-to-face, as I see it, is so much better than sitting in an office running a business from a computer. Yes, the office is a much safer environment. Let me “inter-ject” this: Rejection is much easier to take when you don’t have to deal with the person face-to-face. (ALL conversation usually end at this point.) However, often times a “re-jection” is simply a disguised request for more information. Once their “ob-jections” have been overcome, a relationship may be saved or formed. That is the benefit of dealing with an objection/rejection face-to-face. The one is an automatic loose-loose, the other is a possible win-win. If one really love people, they will help them; not use them!
I always love your comments Howard, whether we agree or not. Thanks for sharing your expertise.
I agree that face to face is powerful for building friendships and relationships. I really do.
I’d also chime in and say that I did the business that way for over a decade and attrition is still very very high, even if you build a relationship and spend a lot of time with someone.
As I see it we live in a global economy now and not building nationally and internationally is foolish.
Also, technology makes communication that much easier. Looking someone in the eye on SKYPE, to me anyway, is just as effective as meeting face to face.
Just my two cents.