When proposing some titles to me, my friend Chuck Holmes mentioned this: How To Keep Your Wife Happy.
My immediate reaction was, am I qualified? As I looked back in time, I realized I am probably more qualified than at least 70% of the male population. And I don’t say that in bragging, but…
- I first wed at 18 years old and Jonda and I were married just slightly short of 30 years before her health deteriorated; she passed away as I was there by her bedside.
- I am now with Maggie, and have been for 7 years and we have plans of growing old together.
For some reason, these two women put up with all my downfalls. Why?
- All the money I have (and a roar of laughter came from the crowd).
- These good looks (why did the crowd just spit out all their coffee?).
- Or maybe it’s because I don’t fart, belch or leave the toilet seat up (do you go to Hell for lying?).
None of the above, but… I have a knack that I learned somewhere of keeping my wife happy.
How to Keep Your Wife Happy
So read along and learn how to keep your wife happy too (or girlfriend). Here are my top 15 tips in no particular order. And ladies, be sure and share this with your mate. I’m sure both of you will be all the happier he read it.
Tip #1: Remind Them Often How Much You Appreciate Them
As a busy freelancer, I sometimes find myself being caught up in my work and not noticing the little things my lovely woman does. But I have learned to look closely and when I see a new plant, or she put on a new blouse or she made my favorite meal, I let her know how much I appreciate her and love her.
But how often Greg?
Daily! Twice daily… No wait… Make it 7 times a day.
Anything less, you get a cold salami sandwich for dinner!
When you’re with someone all the time, it’s easy to take them for granted, but according to psychologist Erica MacGregor, you should verbally express your appreciation every day. Whether you’re calling positive attention to something thoughtful they’ve done, or letting them know something you like about them, “We all need to feel appreciated and reinforced for the things we are doing right,” says MacGregor. For example, if your spouse makes you coffee in the morning, tell them it started your day with a smile. “If we don’t feel valued we may become resentful and grow apart.”
Source: Oprah Daily
Tip #2: Have A Date Night At Least…
I would say at least twice per month.
Take her to her favorite restaurant, movie, dancing… Take her out on the town.
With Maggie, a simple drive into a remote part of Puerto Rico has always been adored.
Studies indicate that shared activities help sustain relationships; however, positive, stress-free activities and relationship quality – both in the moment and for the future – require both of you to want the activity and the result it might bring. Studies also indicate the quality of the connection should be a priority before there’s a threat to it. Most individuals who enjoyed their date night activities reported a positive impact on their relationship even after the event; they felt they had learned more about their partner and could implement higher levels of relationship skills.
Source: Our Relationship
Tip #3: Make Time For A One-On-One Conversation
This is an area I slip on from time-to-time, especially when children were in the home. But your wife needs to have your full attention. That means make it a two way conversation with no debating. Listen and offer your input, but even if she disagrees with you, don’t debate.
Try to keep the conversation within an area where debating will not be an issue.
There are only 168 hours in each week – the number never varies. The amount of time we offer our relationships can appear like a vote as to how much we value the people we say we love. Romance like anything else worthwhile is worth the investment of time and attention.
Source: All Pro Dad
Tip #4: Listen Intently
You may think this goes with #3, but this is when you just shut up except for the occasional yes, no, and you got that right honey.
Your wife needs your ears to hear about her day, the sadness, gladness, or gossip she just needs to get off her chest.
Now mind you… Don’t try to multi-task and watch television or look at your phone while she is talking. Give 150% attention to every word coming from her mouth.
One of the greatest gifts that we can offer another is our presence and attunement to their thoughts and feelings. Most of the time, when our partner is communicating with us, they aren’t looking for a fixer, to solve their problems.
Source: marriage.com
Tip #5: Be An Old-Fashioned Gentleman
It doesn’t matter if your wife:
- Is a bulldozer operator
- Fights in the UFC
- Yells about equal rights for women all day long
- Etc…
She still wants and needs gentlemanly treatment. Open the door for her, pull out her chair, etc…
She may act as if you shouldn’t, but don’t stop! In secret, she loves every bit of it!
Being a gentleman means being considerate of her wants and needs, as well as your own. Treating her like the woman she is, and giving her a sense of independence, while still catering to her when the mood is right, will earn you an enormous amount of respect. Being a gentleman will make her feel like you’re a catch, and she’ll go the extra mile to make you feel like it.
Source: LovePanky
Tip #6: Build Her Confidence
When she doesn’t think she can, you need to tell her she CAN! And if she fails, you tell her you know she can and tell her times you failed and got back up and tried again.
Never try to break her down… Always try to build her up!
A good man is supportive. He would go the extra mile to help her achieve her dreams. And don’t underestimate cheering, cheering for your wife’s achievements makes her feel loved and appreciated. And in difficult times, he would be there for her, helping her get back up again on her feet with kind and supportive words.
Source: fustany
Tip #7: What Can I Do To Help?
No matter what you did today, how hard it was, or how tired you are, your wife needs your help with something. And even if she doesn’t, believe me, she will be happy if you do. Every day, you should ask her “What can I do to help?”
The kicker…
Go do what she asked, and do it well!
A 2017 study found that women who performed more housework were less likely to be satisfied with their relationships, and the partnership was more likely to dissolve. These results recognized the gendered impact of household labor inequality on relationship instability.
Source: mbgrelationships
Tip #8: Cook A Delightful Dinner
Here is an area I have become quite good at over the years if I do say so myself.
It will put a smile on your wife’s face when you have the table set with a candle and flowers in the middle.
Lasagna, a nice salad and a cherry pie will cause happiness to shine from her face.
Making a homemade meal for your wife is one of the best ways to win her heart. Always ask what she wants to eat. It’s about being her personal slave but rather paying attention to her needs. And when you cook her favourite dishes, she’ll be falling madly in love with you for respecting that.
Source: firstcry Parenting
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Tip #9: Trust Her
Trust is a must!
Whether she has the credit card, is out with her friends or on a business trip, you have to always be trusting.
Believe me, lack of trust will lead to serious problems in a marriage.
Honesty and trust become the foundation for everything in a successful marriage. But unlike most of the other essentials on this list, trust takes time. You can become selfless, committed, or patient in a moment, but trust always takes time. Trust is only built after weeks, months, and years of being who you say you are and doing what you say you’ll do. It takes time, so start now—and if you need to rebuild trust in your relationship, you’ll need to work even harder.
Source: becomingminimalist
Tip #10: Maintain Your Appearance
Comb your hair, brush your teeth, put on deodorant, etc…
I say that you should always come to your wife in the same condition you did, appearance wise, when you first asked her out on a date.
Before marriage men usually make efforts and try to look good and attractive so as to impress the girl. But once they get married, they hardly care about their looks.
Among the things a husband should do to make his wife happy is to groom himself. In this context, make efforts to look good when you are around her and show her how important she is to you.
Source: Bonobology
Tip # 11: Post Love Messages Around the House
Put a love letter under her pillow from time-to-time. Put a stick it note with a short sweet message on it with her bag of lunch. Write I love you on the bathroom mirror in lipstick. You get the gist.
Marriage is a bond where you need a constant reminder for the love, respect, and admiration that you share for each other. And when it comes to expressing your love to your wife, love letters are a great way to express your inner feelings to her.
With a love letter, you can write down all that you feel about your wife on paper and surprise her like never before. It will bring a big smile to her face and remind her of your feelings for her.
Source: StyleCraze
Tip # 12: Compliment Her Often
Give your wife genuine, sincere compliments. Be specific. Tell her exactly why you are complimenting her. Women love compliments if they are sincere, heartfelt, specific, and genuine.
We will not marry our own wife if we were not struck by their charm and beauty. Always remind your wife how beautiful she is. Always remind her how perfect that part of her body attracts you most. And of course, do not look at other women like a hungry wolf. Keep your eyes only on your lovely wife.
Source: Inspiring Tips
Tip # 13: Tell Your Wife First When Something Exciting Happens
Get promote? Get a raise? Win on a scratch ticket? Tell your wife first. Let her have first dibs on all good news in your life. She will really appreciate that.
Your wife needs to feel free to help you and contribute to the things that matter to you without fearing retaliation and anger.
Source: Inc.
Tip # 14: Surprise her in Unexpected Ways
Mix up your routine. Do the unexpected. Be unpredictable (in good ways). This helps keep the spark alive.
Buy her a card and write a few sweet things in it. Deliver flowers to her work. Text her just to say you’re thinking over her. Plan a surprise weekend getaway. Do anything unexpected every once in a while. You don’t have to do this once a week, or even once a month. But, it is important to do something to show your wife your think about her when she is not around. Doing these things on totally non traditional times is the best, not just her birthday or Valentine’s Day.
Source: Paired Life
Tip # 15: Learn Her Love Language
I saved the best tip for last. Take the time and learn your wife’s love language. The five most common love languages are acts of service, gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time. Figure out which one of those love languages is your wife’s, and show her you love her using her love language. I highly recommend you read the book “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. This book can save almost any relationship (or help keep it healthy).
Ideally, both people will want to express love in a way that is meaningful to the other. But the entire purpose of the love languages is that you would learn how to love your partner in a way that makes sense to them.
Source: verywellmind
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, these are 15 of the best ways to keep your wife happy. I suggest you pick something from this list and do it daily. Pick something different each time to mix it up and keep things exciting.
Remember, your wife deserves happiness, so get creative and put a smile on her face. I challenge you to go do something right now to make your wife smile.
With that, I’m going to go give Maggie a foot rub… Oh, that’s #16… All women love foot massages.
So go for it… And come back and comment how you made your wife smile after reading this article. As they say… Happy Wife, Happy Life! See you all later!
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mrchuckholmes@gmail.com
It’s important to keep your partner happy. The little things matter. Figure out what is important to them and make sure you do something each day to make them feel loved.
Yes, it’s worth figuring out your partner’s love language, so you can make them feel loved in a way that is meaningful to them. For example, my wife’s love language is acts of service. When I do chores and help out, she really feels loved. Me, on the other hand, am words of affirmation. If she tells me she loves me, I’m good. It’s hard work, and does not always come easy, but if you figure out your partner’s love language, and use it, they will feel so loved and you can level up your relationship.
Quite a good read. In my opinion trust and communication go a long way in building a strong bond and it should always be a two way street. Everything else then becomes secondary. When one feels loved, they are naturally inclined to reciprocate the feelings and act on them. When the husband helps around the house with chores, it is reflective of the respect he has for his wife. One should not want to do this out of obligation only. Moreover, when the husband helps the wife with taking care of the kids, it should not be called, it is parenting and both the parents are equally responsible for this.
Yes, marriage is a two way street. As men, we need to figure out what is important to our wife and do what we can to help her. Happy wife, happy life!
Hello, I’m Luka. I live together with my girlfriend, and we have been together for 2 years. Chuck gave us some great pieces of advice. I feel like a complete fool for not doing some of the things Chuck talked about above. Everything this man said is so logical and true. I will need to change my approach to my girlfriend. I think that numbers 1,4,9 helped me the most. Number 10 is so true! Every day, I see my girlfriend trying to maintain the same appearance as on our first date. I don’t do this, I’m so lazy, I need to change. Thank you so much for making this article, Chuck. It’s a great combination of humor and real advice. Every man will benefit from reading this article and will find it helpful!