In today’s post, we’re going to share some different ways to get people to like you.
We all know one or two of those people. You know, the people that the minute we first meet them, we decide we don’t like them! We cannot put our finger directly on the reason, but they just rub us the wrong way.
And then there is the other side of the coin, those people that the minute they walk into a room, we feel we just need to be near them. We like them without even knowing why.
Lastly, there is the rest of us that fall in the middle. Some people like us and others feel just the opposite.
When you’re involved in network marketing, you have to be likable. This is the ultimate people business and you have to know how to get along with MANY different types of people.
The majority of people reading this blog are in “the people business.” I would argue that all entrepreneurs and sales professionals are in the PEOPLE BUSINESS.
How to Get People to Like You
Today, I am going to share the top 23 ways to get people to like you. I suggest you take notes and use these ideas to grow your business to outstanding heights.
Tip # 1: Smile
This really shouldn’t even have to be listed; it is obvious. No matter what is going on, people just cannot dislike a person who gives them a sincere smile; not a fake smile or a devious smile, but an honest and caring smile will have them pushing the Facebook like button.
Don’t believe me? Tomorrow, when you are out and about living life, make it a point to smile at the first 20 people you come in contact with. Keep track of how many of them actually smile back at you. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
In one University of Wyoming study, nearly 100 undergraduate women looked at photos of another woman in one of four poses: smiling in an open-body position, smiling in a closed-body position, not smiling in an open-body position, or not smiling in a closed-body position. Results suggested that the woman in the photo was liked most when she was smiling, regardless of her body position.
Tip # 2: Ask for Small Favors
It seems like an oxymoron, but it isn’t.
When you ask someone for a small favor, you are showing them you trust them and they will actually like you more. But be careful, too many small favors asked for could have the opposite effect.
Another great tip is to ask people for their help. Most people like to help other people. Don’t you?
This is known as the Franklin Effect. It states that when you ask someone for help it makes them like you and want to help you more. Benjamin Franklin came up with this theory as he struggled to deal with a rival senator who he couldn’t get along with. When he heard that his rival was a passionate reader and had a rare book that he was interested in reading, he asked him for the book, read it, and returned it with a sincere note expressing his appreciation for letting him borrow it. Following that, the two became close friends.
Source: Science of People
Tip # 3: Learn to Listen
People can tell if you are just hearing or actively listening.
Practice active listening; pay attention and show you truly care about what they are saying. You will have a person like you immediately if you do this, because people have a need to be listened to.
Most people suck at listening. They multi-task or do things on their cell phone when they are talking to people.
And then there are other folks who constantly interrupt, or think about how they will respond to what the other person is saying. Learn how to listen and you will be welcomed wherever you go!
Active listening means concentrating on what the other person is saying, rather than planning what you’re going to say next. Asking insightful questions is a great way to illustrate that you’re really paying attention. If you’re not checking for understanding or asking a probing question, you shouldn’t be talking. Not only does thinking about what you’re going to say next take your attention away from the speaker, hijacking the conversation shows that you think you have something more important to say. This means that you shouldn’t jump in with solutions to the speaker’s problems. It’s human nature to want to help people, but what a lot of us don’t realize is that when we jump in with advice or a solution, we’re shutting the other person down and destroying trust. It’s essentially a more socially acceptable way of saying, “Okay, I’ve got it. You can stop now!” The effect is the same.
Tip # 4: Use the Person’s Name Often in Conversation
This tip comes directly from Dale Carnegie and his best-selling book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
People love to hear their name come from the mouth of someone they recently met. Sadly, most people forget names as soon as they meet someone.
When you first hear someone’s name, repeat it several times during the conversation. If their name is difficult to pronounce, ask them to spell it out. If they have an interesting first name or last name, ask them where it originates from. Trust me, the other person will enjoy this!
“… the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it – and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.”
Tip # 5: Be Willing to Admit That You Don’t Know Something
There are an abundance of salespeople and network marketers who talk as if they know everything about everything. And, those same people breed dislike in the minds of many of the people they meet.
Be different! Admit that you don’t know something, but let the other person know you will do your best to find the answer. You will be liked and respected by following that method.
If you want to get people to like you, don’t be a know-it-all!
It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble, it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.
Tip # 6: Put Your Ego in Check
People WILL say things you disagree with. Is it a good time to debate? Heck no!
You may completely disagree with their opinion, but if you truly want them to like you, I suggest you stash your ego and just keep smiling and listening.
Also, if someone says something that is wrong, let it go! There is no need to correct them on the spot, especially in front of other people. Even if you win the conversation because you corrected them, you have lost the potential for a friendship!
Ego suspension is putting your own needs, wants and opinions aside. Consciously ignore your desire to be correct and to correct someone else. It’s not allowing yourself to get emotionally hijacked by a situation where you might not agree with someone’s thoughts, opinions or actions.
Source: Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Tip # 7: Use the 30/70 Rule
People love to talk about themselves. C’mon admit it, you do!
It helps to let the person talk about 70% of the time and you talk 30% of the time. Trust me, it works!
If you enjoy talking, learn how to ask questions. Whenever it’s your turn to speak, just ask the other person a question and then be quiet and listen. This is what I do myself and it works every time!
This might initially seem strange, but when you meet new people and don’t have much in common this can really help. People are very interested in themselves and if you take the time to notice they love to talk about themselves. So whenever you have a conversation let the other person do most of the talking.
You will notice at the end that you will have learned a lot more about the person which you can use in future conversations plus the fact that the other person will feel very satisfied and content that they had a good time.
Source: Code of Living
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Tip # 8: Be a Mirror
Psychologists have studied this and the findings are unanimous; when people converse, if the person mimics the other person’s body posture, there seems to be a like drawn.
The experts believe it comes down to the thought that the person is like them because they act like them.
- If they cross their legs, cross your legs
- If they lean their head forward, lean your head forward
In 1999, New York University researchers documented the “chameleon effect,” which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other’s behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.
Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners (who worked for the researchers) either mimicked the other participant’s behavior or didn’t, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.
Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.
Tip # 9: Give Genuine Compliments
If they have a great haircut, tell them so. If you read their book, let them know they did a great job. Tell the EXACTLY what you liked about the book.
Specific compliments are 100x better than generic ones! Give compliments whenever possible, but make them genuine and realistic.
If the person just got off work and looks beaten, it probably isn’t the time to tell them they look great.
According to Gretchen Rubin, author of the book The Happiness Project, “whatever you say about other people influences how people see you”.
If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.
Source: science alert
Tip # 10: Use the Open Hands
This trick is used at LegoLand; when a person asks where something is, instead of pointing, use an open hand gesture. Closed fists and pointed fingers create a sense of antagonism. Open palms create trust and like.
Ever feel like someone’s invading your space if they point at you? This is because the gesture of pointing is generally seen as aggressive and rude.
Want to seem more likeable? Stop pointing and start using the open-palm gesture. Psychologists say that opening your hands conveys trust, and makes you come across warm and friendly.
Tip # 11: Put the Smartphone Away
This should be obvious too, but for many people it isn’t. It is rude to have your phone in your hand and even worse, in front of your face when you have just met someone.
For that matter, when you are conversing with people, leave the phone out of the conversation. If you must, leave the conversation area politely.
It’s impossible to build trust and monitor your phone at the same time. Nothing turns people off like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation, focus all your energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.
Tip # 12: Tell Stories
People naturally like stories, so learn to tell stories in mild conversation.
And not once upon a time stories; make them real stories… But it is okay to exaggerate a little bit.
Now tell me, who doesn’t like a storyteller? I would bet that even Edgar Allen Poe was liked by many people.
The same information shared in a story will be much more effective than if told outside of a story. It’s true, facts tell, but stories sell! Telling captivating stories is one of the best ways to get people to like you.
People love a good story, and great stories require sophisticated storytellers. Storytelling is an art form that requires understanding of language and pacing. Master the fine oral tradition of storytelling and people will flock to you like you’re The Bard.
Tip # 13: Make Them Laugh
If you have a joking side, use it, but keep it clean and as correct as possible.
Everyone loves a person who can make them laugh as long as the funny side isn’t stepping on moral or personal toes. Stay away from political and religious and sexual jokes at all times, unless you REALLY know the person. The last thing you want to do is offend someone you just met!
A study by DePaul University and Illinois State University showed that a good sense of humor is a powerful first impression, but be aware of where your humor works best. If it’s in telling jokes, do that, but if you’re not a natural, stick to funny stories or observations.
Source: Digital Information World
Tip # 14: Stay Positive
No matter where a conversation is going, find something positive to say.
Example: Other person “Someone killed 3 people on the subway today and they haven’t caught the killer.” You could respond by saying, “We have a great police force and I am sure they will catch them soon.”
If every sentence you speak has positive overtones, people will naturally turn positive and they will like you.
Remember, positive attracts and negative repels!
Tip # 15: Make Friends with Their Friends
In most cases, people will naturally like who their friends like. Now this is not a 100% tried and true method, but the percentage is high.
The social-network theory behind this effect is called “triadic closure,” which means that two people are likely to be closer when they have a common friend.
To illustrate this effect, students at the University of British Columbia designed a program that friends people on Facebook at random. They found that people were more likely to accept their friend request as their number of mutual friends increased — from 20% with no mutual friends to close to 80% with more than 11 mutual friends.
Source: Business Insider
Tip # 16: A Light Touch
I suggest you use this sparingly and judge whether the person is accepting of something like this before you do it, but a hand on the back or just a touch on the shoulder can bring people to like you immediately.
But I reiterate, be aware that some people do not like to be touched and it could work against you.
If you misjudge, apologize immediately. And be especially careful about how you do this with the opposite sex! When in doubt, stick with a good handshake.
Touch breaks down natural barriers and decreases the real and perceived distance between you and the other person — a key component in liking and in being liked.
Tip # 17: Be Excited
People that are excited are liked.
It is just one of those weird rules of nature, but make sure that you have something to be excited about.
And, your excitement must be genuine.
Fake excitement is easy to read.
I like to call this enthusiasm and energy. Keep a high level of enthusiasm and energy whenever possible.
Look people in the eye, smile when appropriate, and keep your energy high with humor and passion. People will feel valued and appreciated when you focus purely on them, leaving a lasting and favorable impression.
Tip # 18: Ask for Advice
People naturally like to help other people. When you ask others for advice, it shows them that you value their opinion and expertise.
If the person’s advice seems stupid or undo-able, just say, “I will consider that option,” and keep conversing without explaining why you won’t use their advice.
When you ask for advice, people do not think less of you; they think you are smarter. They reason, “I’m brilliant (of course), so this guy’s smart for asking for my advice.” And by asking someone to share his or her wisdom, a person strokes the adviser’s ego and can gain valuable insights. Indeed, seeking guidance from others encourages information exchange and meaningful connection between us and our friends and colleagues.
Source: Scientific American
Tip # 19: Be Yourself
The best way to get people to dislike you is to act like someone you are not. It is obvious when people are acting, so don’t try to be Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar or someone famous… Be yourself and you will be liked.
Don’t be afraid to show a little vulnerability. People may be (momentarily) impressed by the artificial, but most people sincerely like the genuine.
Be the real you. People will like the real you.
Tip # 20: Find Common Ground
Years ago, when I was studying salesmanship, I learned this very important lesson.
When you meet anyone, find common ground as quickly as possible.
- If their dog just died, your hamster died 2-months ago
- If they have family in Idaho, your brother lives in Boise
- If they fish often, you would too if you weren’t so busy
Common ground makes friends and gains trust, and will get people to like you.
According to a classic study by Theodore Newcomb, people are more attracted to those who are similar to them. This is known as the similarity-attraction effect.
In his experiment, Newcomb measured his subjects’ attitudes on controversial topics, such as sex and politics, and then put them in a University of Michigan-owned house to live together.
By the end of their stay, the subjects liked their housemates more when they had similar attitudes about the topics measured.
Source: Science Alert
Tip # 21: Dress Sharp, Check Your Breath and Wear Deodorant
People like people who smell good and have good breath, clean hair and nails, etc… unless you are making friends with a group of Hell’s Angels.
Dressing sharp also brings on a like, but overdressing can bring on a sense of distrust. Use good sense and you will gain many people who like you by the way you dress and groom yourself.
The clothes you wear and the way you groom yourself will change the way other people hear what you say. It will subconsciously tell them if you’re like them or if you’re different. It will determine whether they listen or ignore. Trust or distrust.
Tip # 22: Tell a Secret
This is another area you must be careful with because it could fall into the line of gossip, but just saying something like, “I have never told anyone this, but I have always been in love with Marie Osmond,” will show the person you are talking with that you value them enough that you trust them with a deep secret.
When you are vulnerable and trusting, it can make people see you in a whole new light. They might feel closer to you as a result of you sharing a secret with them.
Sharing a secret of yours can open you up to other people. They will realize that you trust them and that you are not perfect.
Tip # 23: Like Yourself
This is my last tip on this list and probably the most important. If you don’t like yourself, how can anyone else like you?
So I dare you, go to the mirror right now and start telling the person you see how much you like them and enjoy being with them. It works!
If that doesn’t work for you, write down all of your good qualities and repeat those qualities out loud, in front of the bathroom mirror each morning.
The less you love yourself, listen to yourself, and understand yourself, the more confused, angry, and frustrating your reality will be.
But when you begin and continue to love yourself more, the more everything you see, everything you do, and everyone you interact with, starts to become a little bit better in every way possible.
I really enjoyed writing this post and I sincerely hope it helps all of you reading this to get people to like you. Can I ask? Do all of you like me?
To be very honest, I love all of you and I wish you the very best in your business and life. Have a wonderful day.
By the way, will you do me a favor? Please share this with your friends and family on social media. Let the like and love spread!