Dealing with an Un-Supportive Spouse in Network Marketing

One common issue I see in network marketing is new distributors having an un-supportive spouse.  Usually, one of the two spouses is very excited about the business and the other one is completely turned off and/or skeptical.  It’s very rare that both partners are pumped up and excited.

Sometimes, one spouse will do almost ANYTHING to keep the person from joining (or staying in the business).  I’ve even heard people threaten to leave their spouse if they join a MLM Company!  It’s crazy and true.

Other spouses will do little things to “chip away” at their spouse in hopes of getting them to quit and return to their “normal” life.  They will say negative things, talk down the business, not give their spouse time to work the business, say they hate the products, constantly nag, use the kids as an excuse, or countless other things.

To be quite frank with you, I’ve found that if the wife is excited about the business or products, the couple almost always joins the business.  However, if the wife is the negative one, the husband almost never joins!  Therefore, if you can win the woman over, there is almost a 100% chance the couple will do the business.

And if you can get both partners excited, there is a high likelihood they will do very well with the business!

At the end of the day, having a negative spouse will make it VERY hard for you to be successful in your network marketing business (or anything else in life).  It’s like trying to lose weight, but having a spouse that keeps bringing fast food home, buys unhealthy groceries, cooks unhealthy meals, temps you with sweets, and does things to get you off course and return to your old ways.

Ultimately, you have to decide how important the business is to you and how important your “relationship” is.  I’m not telling you to pick one over the other.  But, if doing the business is important to you, you and your spouse will need to have some tough conversations.  I personally believe a spouse should be supportive of your hopes and dreams and business ventures.  But, I know it doesn’t always work out that way.

I also realize that every relationship is unique.  For example, some people have been in five or ten different MLM Companies and never made money, so their spouse is naturally skeptical.  I also know that some spouses are control freaks.  They want to control everything their spouse does or doesn’t do.  And some spouses are worried that you will squander away the family budget, because of your poor financial decisions.  Finally, some spouses really dislike, or simply don’t understand the network marketing industry.

Once again, I’m not telling you to divorce your spouse (or leave them) just because they are un-supportive.  But, if your business is really important to you, you should ask them to at least do the following things:

  • Give you a two year probationary period to work the business
  • Use the products
  • Stop nagging, undermining you and saying negative things
  • At least be neutral

Furthermore, I’ve also found that the greatest way to win over an un-supportive spouse is to build it big and make lots of money with your network marketing business.  Make $5k, $10k or more per month and I can almost guarantee that your spouse will come around.  Trust me, they will want to spend some of that money!

And if they don’t keep the money for yourself!

At the end of the day, it’s your life to live.  Decide what is important to you, make a decision and press forward.  I know I would personally never marry or live with someone who told me what I could or couldn’t do.

What are your thoughts? What do you teach your new team members to do if they have an un-supportive spouse?  Leave a comment below to let me know what you think.  I look forward to hearing from you.

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6 thoughts on “Dealing with an Un-Supportive Spouse in Network Marketing

  1. Greg Boudonck

    You know Chuck, after rereading this post, I came across something that many network marketers may not consider when they have an un-supporting spouse. In some cases it comes down to how the spouse who is in the MLM is treating the other. If you are spending every hour working the business, and not giving your spouse some quality time, that may be the reason they do not support.

    It all comes down to time management. If we are workaholics, and do not provide family, or spouse time, our relationships will suffer. Make sure you are giving your spouse the time he/she deserves, and you may find they are a lot more supportive of your network marketing business.

    Reply
  2. Diamond Grant

    I like the idea of agreeing to a probationary period. Set certain goals for that defined period of time and if you have not met those goals by the end of that time frame then moving on from that venture seems like a fair deal in my eyes. But during that time they either have to remain neutral or support your vision so you can build the business to its desired level. Great advice.

    Reply
    1. chuckholmes Post author

      Yes, a probationary period works fine. Having a supportive spouse can really make a big difference. I’ve always found that if the woman wants to do it, the couple does it. If the man does, but the woman doesn’t, they usually won’t last long in the business.

      Reply
  3. Greg Boudonck

    This is a very important subject Chuck. I believe it would be a great post to share on marriage websites and blogs. You hit a nail on the head when you stated that if a wife is for the MLM, the husband will usually join.

    I have found that success will only come if a person has support from their spouse. It doesn’t mean the spouse has to “work the business,” but support is important. Just the occasional “pat on the back” helps a person realize their partner is backing their efforts.

    Normally I wouldn’t post outer links here, but in this case, I felt these were helpful. This article on Forbes is fabulous: http://www.forbes.com/sites/yec/2013/03/12/8-rules-for-starting-a-business-with-your-spouse/
    and this one about newlyweds is also a very good article: http://newlyweds.about.com/od/money/a/careerhelp.htm

    I am very blessed to have a supporting mate myself.

    Reply

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